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A is for Agony (+a brief message from the Ham)

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Hey all! I apologize for neglecting my blog for…uh, a really long time. It’s busy season atA2Z-BADGE-0002014-small_zps8300775c work. Which means I’ve been having a really, really hard time motivating myself to do anything in my free time (other than curl up in a ball and whimper quietly to myself) — let alone write posts. So, to maybe eliminate my lethargy, I’ve signed up for the A to Z challenge. This means that, for the month of April, I’ll be posting something EVERY DAY (except Sundays) corresponding with the letters of the alphabet. And in case you guys couldn’t tell, today is A.

Welcome to A is for AGONY.

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Agony (working title)

The doctor turns, smiles
Somehow I expected a leer
Twisting, stretching his face into something alien
Bulging eyes, the stench of sweat
Flaking rust brown staining his pristine coat
Betraying the repugnance of his crime

But his face is smooth, clear
His eyes bright and warm
Not a speck to mar the whiteness of his clothes
Stinking of bleach and lemons
Here, he says, good as new
His voice tight with clinical friendliness

He gently places it in my hands
I stare at the small, fluttering thing
At the tight, tidy stitches binding it
Where once it was ragged, bleeding
Oh, I say, because there is nothing else
And the thing in my hands trembles and thrums

In the safe darkness of my bedroom
I listen to the beat, never a falter
Only an echo of what once was gaping pain
In flames and ashes, searing flashes
I remember — the rage, hurt, betrayal, fury
Locked, hidden away in those tidy stitches

How can it be all right, okay?
How can it all be gone?
I tear out the stitches, relish in the pain
Rejoice in the wracking sobs
I’d rather feel anguish than nothing at all
And, as they say,
Nobody ever died of a broken heart

———————————————————————————————-

This poem is temporarily called ‘Agony’ (mostly because I needed a post for A), but I really can’t decide on an appropriate title. What do you think? Is ‘Agony’ a good title? What do you think the title should accomplish? Do you have any suggestions? Comments, compliments, and critiques are more than welcome.

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