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The Sky is Falling!

So, I’m taking a poetry class. As such, I’ve decided to share one of my poems every week on my blog. [pauses to wait while 90% of the readers click away]

This is what I look like when I write poems. Except minus the goatee. And the beret. I really need to get a beret.

This is what I look like when I write poems. Except minus the goatee. And the beret. I really need to get a beret.

[coughs] It’s okay. I understand. Broadly speaking, I hate reading poems (on account of it requiring actual effort on my part, thus nullifying my hard-earned title of Lazy Butt), but strangely, I love writing them. I love writing in general, but when I’m feeling particularly emotional or irrational, my thoughts tend to come out in poems rather than stories or blog posts. (My emotions also occasionally come out through artwork, but that’s another blog post entirely.) That being said, the fact that I’m sharing one of my poems with you today means I am baring my soul to you. So be nice. (P.S. Flattery works wonders.)

I also wanted to celebrate one momentous occasion: I have four followers/watchers/ stalkers/whateveryoucallthosepeoplethatarechronicreadersofablog! (!!!!!!!!!!!!) I about died of happiness. This is only my third post. I HAVE MORE STALKERS THAN I HAVE POSTS. (Sorry. I’ll stop shouting. I was over-excited.) I love you all. You are my best friends. In the whole world. Thank you for inflating my ego to drastic proportions.

Anyway. Here is “Thirteen Days, Thirteen Skies.” Read the rest of this entry


I Hate Ninjas

My eyes flew open.

The room was dark, empty, the windows closed and the curtains tightly drawn. I strained my ears, listening for even the barest whisper of a sound, but the night was still as death. My bedroom was silent, noiseless, nothing out of place. There was nothing that should have disturbed my slumber.

I hate ninjas, I thought, annoyed Read the rest of this entry

We is Me

There comes a time in one’s life when one simply becomes too much for one’s own self, so one’s self must divide into multiple Ones in order to cope with one’s inner lack of oneness.

And if you’re still reading, then you’re either a) really bored, b) pretending you’re so intelligent and philosophical that the above sentence actually made sense, or c) other: [please specify].

Either which way.

This is not Ham.

This is not Ham.

Hello! We are Ham and Potatoes, in case you missed those big letters at the top of this page. You know, the ones that say “Ham and Potatoes.” Yeah. Those ones. Right there. Uh-huh. Yeah, you got ’em. And as we are of the opinion that there is no such thing as a good first post on a blog (you know, one that will inspire the masses and cause hundreds and thousands of subscribers to flock to our blog), we have decided to go for what is likely the most cliched and boring first just to get it over with: The Introduction Post. Read the rest of this entry

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